Welcome to the Conscious Girlfriend Academy

The Compassionate, Intelligent Learning Community 

for Growth-Oriented Lesbians 

The Academy Is A Place Where You Belong. 


  • Just coming out, a lifelong lesbian, or anything in between? Queer, bisexual, or don't like labels? We're here for you.

    Our members range in age from 21 to 82, with many women in their 40s, 50s and 60s. We warmly welcome all self-identified women who love women, or want to, and NB folx too. We are actively anti-racist.    

  • Ready to finally be happy in love? Or just happy, period?   

    Great! Our classes will teach you how. The Academy is the place to get dating and relationship education designed by lesbians, for lesbians. We're empowering, compassionate, and informed by cutting-edge neuroscience and psychology.

  • We really are everywhere!

    We are based in the United States, but women from 25 countries have taken our classes! We're proud to be the global leader in dating, relationship and sex education for lesbians and queer women. 

  • We offer many ways to learn and connect.

    Recorded classes fit everyone's schedule! Or, join our live events up to 3X/week for built-in conscious community, maximum learning. and friendship, too. 

What Academy Members Say:

Ameli N.

Age 59

"I’m loving the Academy, having beautiful conversations and anticipating good friendships at the very least! And for the first time, I understand what a healthy relationship is. It’s helping me feel a new spark and optimism at this point in my life."

Teresa C.

Age 45

"The Academy is such a wonderful community of lesbians to talk to and interact with! It’s invaluable to me. I’m still working on being the right partner (as well as finding her) and I can see myself wanting to go through the course materials again and again."

Jennifer B.

Age 68

"Thank you for creating such a powerful and loving community.  I'm very much enjoying the offerings.  It’s so much more heart-opening and encouraging than the dating apps. I am learning so much, and feel like I've found my tribe." 

The Academy offers community and learning to lesbians and queer women from all over the world. It also provides a roadmap

to the love you want. 


If you're like most lesbians and queer women, you've felt alone with your dating and relationship challenges. After all, no one ever taught us how to do this thing. Love and sex are so essential to our well-being, and it's almost impossible to get them right without support, especially in our heteronormative, homophobic world.


The Conscious Girlfriend Academy and the Roadmap class give you the support to finally get it right.   

  • Maybe you've had trouble meeting the right woman, and thought that meant "all the good ones are gone," or you're just not meant to have a relationship. Not true! The Roadmap class will show you what's been holding you back, and how to change it. 
  • Maybe you've fallen in love fast, only to have the magic and connection turn to pain within a few months or years. This makes it really hard to trust love or attraction, or open your heart again. The Roadmap class will show you exactly what you've been doing wrong, and how to find and create the lasting love you really want.
  • Maybe you've tended to get attracted to women who are unavailable, or just not right for you. The Roadmap class will help you understand and change these patterns. 
  • Maybe you have a hard time asking for what you want, sharing your emotions, and working out conflicts and differences in healthy ways. The Roadmap class will teach you how.

Learn how to be the right partner, as well as find her, in 

The Roadmap to Conscious Lesbian Dating

and Lasting Love.   

"Yesterday's classes were incredible. I learned so much in the Boundaries class, definitely some life-changing knowledge in there! And the spiritual connection group was nothing short of delightful; the energy was so nurturing." 

Audrey, Age 60

"Thank you again for creating this Academy -- you have no idea of the amount of impact this has already made in my life! In the past I felt panicky when a match reached out to me on a dating site. Now I'm gaining so much confidence!" 

Vicky, 55

"I have been attending with my new girlfriend and we're both learning so much! Getting to practice these skills with other lesbians makes all the difference." 

Amanda. 44

About Academy Membership 

You can pay by the class for some of our offerings, but many are just for members. And although membership will save you hundreds of dollars over the per-class price, it's not just about saving $$$.

When you join us, you join a compassionate revolution in

lesbian dating, love, sex and well-being.   

We've helped women all over the world gain skills to have the love lives they want, and if you're ready to expand your community,

your paradigm, and your possibilities, we'd love to help you, too.



Giving & Receiving Program 

Are you highly motivated to join us, but can't afford it? Partial scholarships are available. We aim to make our work accessible to all women who need it.

Are you able to support other women in community participation? 

 Giving programs are available, too!

Click here to email us,

or send mail to


Community Member 




(Save $491 when you pay for the year. Only $58/month!)


  1. The 12-Week Roadmap to Conscious Lesbian Dating & Lasting Love CourseFull access to this 12-module course ($597 value) 
  2. Full access to the Academy Archives (over 60 recorded classes available! ($1500 value)
  3. PDF of the book Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love: A Roadmap to Finding the Right Partner and Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams
  4. Four live Community Connection events (Tuesdays 5:00-6:30 p.m. PST) led by Ruth Schwartz and/or other group leaders ($100 value)
  5. Two live classes and two live practice sessions per month: 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month from 10:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. PST (includes class, Q&A and practice session) ($100 value)
  6. Membership in the private Academy Facebook group so you can connect with other members worldwide. (Priceless)

Becoming a Community Member saves you hundreds of dollars off a la carte prices, plus gives you the opportunity to support the Academy, learn and integrate more, and connect with new friends, too. 

Supporting Member 




(Save $691 when you pay for the year. Only $91/month!)


  1. Monthly Live 2-hour group coaching call with Academy Director Ruth Schwartz ($50 value)
  2. Free admission to our special offerings with Ruth and/or guest teachers each month ($50-150 value) PLUS all the benefits available to Community Members:
  3. The 12-Week Roadmap to Conscious Lesbian Dating & Lasting Love Course: Full access to this 12-module course ($597 value)  
  4. Full access to the Academy Archives -- over 60 recorded classes available on all aspects of lesbian dating, love and sex ($1500 value)
  5. The Book (PDF): Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love: A Roadmap to Finding the Right Partner and Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams
  6. Four live Community Connection events (Tuesdays 5:00-6:30 p.m. PST) led by Ruth Schwartz and/or other group leaders ($100 value)
  7. Two live classes and two live practice sessions per month: 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month from 10:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. PST (includes class, Q&A and practice session) ($100 value) 
  8. Membership in the private Academy Facebook group so you can connect with other members worldwide (Priceless)

Becoming a Supporting Member is the only way to access intimate small-group coaching with Academy Director Ruth Schwartz, plus you'll get free admission to our special offerings.

Meet Our Faculty

Ruth L. Schwartz, Ph.D.

Ruth is the founder and lead teacher of the Conscious Girlfriend Academy. She has published eight books, including the Amazon bestseller Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love, and has taught at Mills College, California State University-Fresno, Cleveland State University, Ashland University and elsewhere. She has certifications in Somatica Method Intimacy & Sexuality coaching, hypnotherapy and shamanic work.   

Anna Benassi, MFT

Anna is a lesbian psychotherapist who specializes in grief, loss, couples work, including non-traditional relationship structures and polyamory, and Gestalt Therapy. She teaches at the California Institute of Integral Studies and has been a practicing Buddhist for over 20 years. Anna is much beloved by her clients for incorporating humor, play and quirkiness into the work of love and relationships.

Kai Wu

Kai is a queer trauma-informed love and sex coach whose training includes certification in Somatica Method Intimacy & Sexuality Coaching, sexological bodywork, Somatic Experiencing, Skydancing Tantra, and Ancestral Healing. She has been immersed in reclaiming Chinese reverence practices for many years. Kai is of Chinese/Taiwanese ancestry, was born in Chile, and speaks Spanish, Mandarin and Cantonese. 

Caress Fitch 

Caress is a certified Erotic Blueprint Coach, founder of Mindful Passions International, and a Cannabis Wellness Consultant. She is a proud Black, queer, disabled, non-monogamous leathergirl who advocates for the BIPOC, LGBTQ+, poly, kink, and disabled communities in every aspect of her life and work. 

Maxwell Pearl, Ph.D.

Max formerly lived life as Michelle Murrain, and co-founded Conscious Girlfriend in 2013. Max’s background includes a Ph.D. in Neuroscience, a Certificate in Theological Studies, coach training from Gay & Katie Hendricks, and 30+ years as a Buddhist practitioner. After decades of identifying as a lesbian, Max transitioned to male in 2018. He now directs TransResilience. 

Christina Sophie

Christina is a queer coach certified in the Somatica Method whose background includes 10 years with the Body Electric School for Women, four years of study as a Tantra teacher, extensive sexological bodywork training, and teaching at the Institute for Sexuality & Enlightenment. She sees erotic empowerment as a key component of social justice.

Kat Kolegas

Kat is a queer coach certified in the Somatica Method whose work centers on helping smart, successful women of all sexual orientations feel sexy and empowered in their bodies, so they can attract the love of their lives and have fulfilling, connected sex for the rest of their lives.    

Caity Reilly

Caity is a queer love warrior devoted to serving the call of the feminine to healing and awakening through love. She has extensive training in somatic coaching, Hakomi therapy, polyvagal theory and trauma healing, tantric and somatic bodywork, expanded states journey work and deep feminine priestess practices. 


Megan Tennity

Megan is a queer trauma-informed intimacy and relationship coach certified in the Somatica Method and trained in Somatic Experiencing and NARM (Neuro-Affective Relational Model for Healing Complex Developmental Trauma.) She is passionate about helping people overcome shame around sexuality to live their fullest embodied expression.      

Why Join the Academy? Because Your Heart is Worth It. 

Lesbian relationships can be the very best relationships on the planet.

But because two women can go so deep,

our relationships can also be the hardest,

if you don't have Conscious Girlfriend skills. 


The Academy invites you to give yourself

the best shot at happiness  

by giving yourself the knowledge, skills and tools for a great relationship --

as well as a supportive community of like-minded, growth-oriented women.


You deserve it. We are here for you.

You can do it. 


 See you in class!

Friends of the Academy Say:

Meet a Few of Our Friends: 

Julie Bjelland, MFT

Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community

"Conscious Girlfriend is providing

an incredibly valuable service to women who love women. It's run with integrity and heart, and offers comprehensive information in a usable format. I highly recommend it to any lesbian or queer woman who wants to get over a breakup, start dating, or form a healthy relationship. This information is so needed in our community! There's nothing else out there like Conscious Girlfriend."

Suzanne Falter

Author of How Much Joy Can You Stand? and many other books

"Conscious Girlfriend helped me find a remarkable relationship. There is no drama, just deep acceptance, listening and profound joy." .

Anna Benassi, MFT

Professor, California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) 

"Conscious Girlfriend offers an empowering approach which is right in line with all the latest research about relationships. I'm really excited about your work! I refer my clients to you all the time."

Conscious Girlfriend Has Been Featured In


Inspiring stories about a few of our members:  

Eva & Carol, 66 & 71

Eva was 64 and had been single for a very long time. The Academy's Roadmap class helped her develop the resilience to become ready to date, and the courage to put up an online profile. Dating was awkward at first, but after a few months, she met Carol, and they clicked. "I credit Conscious Girlfriend with getting me ready to meet this wonderful woman," Eva says. "We've been going strong for two years now!"

Yolanda, 29

Yolanda had grown up in a religious family and had struggled to accept her sexuality, but she knew she wanted the tools to create a happy, healthy relationship with a woman. The Academy's classes helped her make lesbian friends and eventually have the confidence to begin a relationship. Although she is now single again, Yolanda says "My sense of confidence is completely different now. I honestly feel that the Roadmap class saved my life."  

Denise, 51

Denise had recently come out after a long marriage to a man, and had two teenaged kids at home. She was afraid these facts would scare women away, but the Academy helped her clarify her relationship vision and believe in her worthiness as a partner. She says, "Without the Roadmap, I couldn't have found the right woman. Now I have a partner who loves my kids, and I'm the happiest I've ever been." 

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