Conscious Girlfriend Academy
Official Guidelines & Policies
Updated 6/23/26
Community Boundaries and Professional Integrity
Conscious Girlfriend Academy exists to support members and participants with course materials and facilitation generated by Conscious Girlfriend Academy faculty, staff, and invited guests.
Many CGA members are coaches, therapists, healers, educators, facilitators, community organizers, and business owners. We value the gifts and expertise you bring to our community.
At the same time, you may not use participation in CGA as a vehicle for business networking, client acquisition, email list building, audience development, content creation, recruitment, or promotion of outside businesses, services, memberships, courses, communities, workshops, retreats, or events.
Policies Regarding Self-Promotion
Members may not:
Use CGA classes or groups (or chats in CGA classes and groups), or CGA events, Facebook communities, live, buddy lists, contact lists, or member relationships, to promote your offerings, resources, services, courses or events, unless you have obtained specific one-time permission from CGA administration.
Use CGA classes or groups to recruit clients, customers, subscribers, followers, participants, or members.
Create mailing lists, marketing lists, text lists, social media groups, communities, memberships, or promotional databases using contacts obtained through CGA.
Privately message members for the purpose of promoting services, events, businesses, programs, communities, or causes.
Use Academy participation as a networking, marketing, business development, or lead-generation opportunity.
Repurpose, repackage, trademark, rebrand, emulate or substantially reproduce CGA teachings, exercises, worksheets, frameworks, community-generated content, or course materials as your own proprietary work without appropriate permission and attribution.
Create or use CGA affinity or buddy groups for the purpose of networking or client acquisition.
In order to protect the sanctity of CGA and members’ experience, we take this policy very seriously. The first time someone violates it, they will receive a warning and a copy of these policies. If it happens again, they will be removed from CGA.
Policies Regarding the Zoom Chat
The Zoom chat during each class or group exists to support the facilitator, the learning process, and the topic being discussed. Please use the chat for questions, reflections, responses to prompts, and supportive engagement with the material.
Please do not use the chat for side conversations, self-promotion, recruiting, advertising, or directing participants toward outside programs, events, resources, or communities. Our intention is to keep class time focused on learning, connection, and the collective experience of the group.
Policies Regarding Sharing of Materials
We encourage members to incorporate CGA principles into your own life, and to share what you learn with your community near and far. We appreciate your support, and together, we make our lesbian/queer community stronger.
If you are interested in earning income by spreading the word about CGA, please click here to learn more about our affiliate/outreach program.
Also, feel free to >schedule a chat with Jen to discuss how you can more powerfully outreach within your community. We love collaborations!
In general, the best starting point is to encourage members of your community to join the mailing list and/or reach out to schedule a chat with Jen.
While you are welcome to talk about what you learn in CGA classes and groups, please take care not to share members-only materials with people who are not members. This includes:
Course worksheets and handouts
Course resource pages
Zoom links for members-only classes
Emails that include Zoom links for classes and groups
- Contact lists from classes
- Links to Whatsapp or Facebook groups that are for members only
Policies Regarding Intellectual Property
CGA has an enormous amount of intellectual property which is freely available to the general public in the form of the Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love book, blog and social media posts. We also have a lot of intellectual property that is available only to paid members - for instance, in the form of course worksheets and actual course material.
Concepts that are discussed and practiced in CGA Skills Labs and other groups are also intellectual property. There is a fine line regarding what can be freely shared as long as proper attribution is given, and what constitutes improper use of CGA intellectual property. Where a member is unsure, we request that you ask us prior to using the CGA phrases and concepts.
We appreciate that members want to share what they are learning with the larger community, and we want that, too! But we also want the larger community to understand when concepts, phrases or tools come from the Academy, and know where to find more of them.
Proper attribution can look like simply indicating the source and referencing the Academy. For instance: "As Ruth Schwartz from Conscious Girlfriend Academy says..." Or, "As Nicki Monahan, Conscious Girlfriend Academy coach, phrased it in the Conscious Girlfriend Academy Skills Lab..." In contrast, publishing a blog post that references "My friend Nicki in Skills Lab" without mentioning the Academy, is not providing proper attribution. Simply removing mention of Nicki and Skills Lab from the post, but making use of the concepts Nicki discussed without credit, would also lack proper attribution.
Where members or former members are sharing CGA concepts, language and tools for the purpose of building their own private practices or courses, proper attribution becomes even more essential. Again, please come to us with questions if you are unclear what needs attribution.
Buddy Groups and Affinity Groups
Buddy Groups
At the beginning of our 12-week courses, CGA helps participants form optional buddy groups or buddy partnerships. Some members thrive with buddy support, while others prefer to engage with the material on their own.
You are not required to have a buddy or buddy group. Yet over the years, we've consistently seen that members who engage with buddies often experience deeper learning, stronger connections, and greater integration of the material.
Buddy groups exist to support participants in:
Reflecting on and applying CGA teachings
Discussing class content and homework
Encouraging one another's growth and accountability
Building meaningful peer relationships within the Academy
Buddy groups are not intended to serve as therapy, coaching, consulting, supervision, healing sessions, or professional support services. Members should seek professional support when needed.
Not every buddy match or buddy group will be a fit, and that is completely normal. Just as in the rest of life, some connections develop naturally while others do not. If a buddy relationship isn't working, members are welcome to step back respectfully, try a different buddy, form their own buddy group, or simply continue through the course independently.
Some buddy groups last only for the duration of a course. Others evolve into meaningful long-term friendships among active community members.
All participants are expected to maintain confidentiality and use contact information solely for the purpose of buddy support and Academy-related connection.
Buddy groups are usually self-organized, though membership can at times be created by CGA admin. If a buddy group leader emerges, she/they agree not to use the buddy group for marketing of their own work.
Affinity Groups
CGA welcomes affinity groups organized around shared interests, identities, life stages, geographic regions, spiritual practices, professions, or other common experiences.
Participation in affinity groups is entirely optional. Some members enjoy connecting through shared interests or identities, while others prefer to engage primarily through classes, events, and the broader community.
Affinity groups are intended to help active members connect more deeply with one another while continuing to engage with the principles, tools, and teachings of the Academy.
To maintain community integrity:
Affinity groups must be made up exclusively of active CGA members or current class participants. If someone discontinues participation in CGA, they can of course maintain friendships with CGA members, but members-only affinity group participation must end.
Affinity groups are peer-led communities, not official CGA programs.
Affinity group leaders may not position themselves as CGA representatives, instructors, coaches, facilitators, or leaders unless specifically authorized by CGA. Instead, they should make clear that they are simply CGA participants.
Affinity groups may not be used to recruit clients, customers, subscribers, members, or participants for outside businesses, services, programs, communities, memberships, workshops, retreats, or events.
Contact information obtained through CGA may not be used for marketing, promotion, list-building, fundraising, audience development, or business purposes.
Current CGA course materials, worksheets, exercises, discussions, and proprietary content may not be shared with non-members or repurposed for outside programs without permission.
We encourage members to build genuine friendships and meaningful connections. At the same time, affinity groups must support and complement participation in the Academy, rather than functioning as alternative programs, competing communities, or replacement offerings.
Facebook Groups
The purpose of CGA Facebook groups is to support connection, learning, discussion, and community related to Conscious Girlfriend Academy teachings, programs, and events. These groups are not intended to function as marketing platforms or lead-generation spaces for members. They are meant to function as a place where members can meet, share experiences, insights, questions, celebrations, and community connection opportunities that align with the values and mission of the Academy.
To maintain a supportive and non-commercial environment:
- Members may post once per month about free non-CGA events, gatherings, or community activities they are leading or participating in.
- Individual coaches, therapists, healers, practitioners, consultants, workshop leaders, and service providers may not promote their own professional services, businesses, paid offerings, courses, memberships, retreats, workshops, or programs within the Facebook groups.
- Members may not use the Facebook groups to recruit clients, customers, subscribers, followers, donors, or participants for outside businesses, organizations, causes, or communities.
- Members may not privately message other members for the purpose of promoting services, events, businesses, programs, memberships, workshops, communities, or fundraising efforts.
- Members may not use relationships, contact information, or access gained through CGA to build mailing lists, marketing lists, audiences, social media groups, memberships, or alternative communities.
Questions about whether a post is appropriate? Please ask before posting.
Posts that violate these guidelines may be removed. Repeated violations may result in suspension or removal from the Facebook group and, when necessary, removal from the Academy.
Member-Led Book Groups
CGA members are welcome and encouraged to form local, unpaid book groups for the purpose of reading and discussing the book Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love within their communities.
These book groups are intended to expand connection, conversation, and learning while helping interested participants discover the broader resources and support available through the Academy. Leading a book group can be a wonderful way to meet like-minded people, deepen your learning, and introduce others to the Conscious Girlfriend community.
To maintain clarity and alignment:
- Book groups may run for up to 12 weeks.
- Book groups must be offered free of charge.
- Book groups must meet in person rather than online, in order to clearly distinguish them from CGA's online programs and offerings.
- Individuals who facilitate book groups agree to refer interested participants to official CGA classes, memberships, and programs, rather than creating alternative paid structures, memberships, courses, or communities designed to replace or compete with Academy offerings.
- CGA books, materials, concepts, and discussions may not be repackaged, rebranded, or used as the foundation for substantially similar paid or free offerings.
- Facilitators agree to follow any current CGA book group guidelines and best practices.
If you are interested in hosting a book group, please contact us at [email protected] to receive current facilitator guidelines.
Conscious Girlfriend Academy (CGA) Overview
1. CGA is a privately-owned membership community and learning environment for self-identified women and adjacent non-binary people who have romantic and/or sexual interest in women. Elsewhere in this document, the words "lesbian" and/or "women" will be used, but only as shorthand to describe any/all women and adjacent non-binary people who love women or want to, regardless of label (including women who identify as gay, queer, bisexual, pansexual, sexually fluid, trans gender, etc.). "Adjacent non-binary people" generally means non-binary people who were identified as female at birth, or identified intersex at birth and raised as girls.
2. CGA members certify that they identify themselves as women or adjacent non-binary people and that they are over the age of 21.
3. CGA is a supportive learning community, not a psychotherapeutic container. Members certify that they understand CGA classes are not psychotherapy, and that if they need psychotherapy, they will seek it elsewhere. Interactions within CGA are subject to different expectations and requirements than interaction within individual or group psychotherapy. For instance, classes and groups are led by faculty members who teach from their own personal experience, as well as from the work of psychologists, relationship researchers, spiritual teachers and other experts. Additionally, there is no barrier to friendship or romantic involvement between CGA faculty, staff, volunteers or members.
4. CGA classes on sexuality are frank and explicit, as well as conscious and compassionate. We offer lesbians high-quality sex education rarely available elsewhere for our community. This information can be life-changing and life-saving! However, it can also be emotionally triggering, especially for our many members who have a history of sexual assault or abuse. Members who choose to attend our sexuality classes acknowledge that their attendance is voluntary and they are encouraged to leave and/or seek professional help if needed.
5. All CGA classes, including those on dating, relationships and sexuality, carry "trigger warnings" because they deal with emotionally sensitive material. While learning the information in our classes can make a huge positive difference in the lives of our members, it is important for members to take care of themselves. Members who choose to attend these classes acknowledge that their attendance is voluntary and they are encouraged to leave or seek professional help if needed.
6. CGA is a consensual and empowering environment designed, led and attended by lesbians and other women who love women, as well as non-binary people. CGA exists to empower lesbians++ to understand and create the romantic and sexual lives we want, as well as to say No and set boundaries when needed. As such, we stand firmly against sexual harassment and abuse, including non-consensual flirting or otherwise romantic or sexualized interaction. We also support consensual flirting, romantic or sexual relationships between women involved in CGA at any level, where such relationships are mutually desired and agreed to by both or all parties, including faculty, staff, volunteers and participants. Consent for such relationships must be given freely, consciously and consistently by both or all people involved, and may be revoked at any time by any person involved. Members who choose to attend CGA classes, groups and gatherings acknowledge that they may be in the presence of women who are romantically and/or sexually involved with one another, and/or who talk openly about sex.
7. All of us, including CGA faculty, are works in progress! No one in CGA pretends to be perfect or a guru. Yet, we come together to do our best to learn about, practice and uphold the skills of being conscious, compassionate and curious in our relationships, including our romantic relationships, our relationships with ourselves, and our relationships with others in CGA.
All CGA participants must agree to the CGA waiver.
Please click here to read the waiver.
CGA Ethos
The four key principles of the CGA ethos are:
-
Cultivating a conscious state. This means working to notice your feelings and your thoughts (the story you tell about your feelings), and to acknowledge the inevitable gap between your emotions, your beliefs, and reality. Being conscious also means developing the ability to recognize your own triggers and take care of yourself when they arise, i.e. do whatever is necessary in order for you to regulate your nervous system. Although CGA teaches many tools for this self-regulation, at times professional help is also needed (e.g. from a licensed psychotherapist or M.D.), and members are encouraged to seek such help if needed.
-
Cultivating a state of compassion for yourself and others. Although many women struggle with self-compassion, this is absolutely a learnable skill! It is also a necessary foundation to develop for all other Conscious Girlfriend work. Yes, you can learn to have compassion for yourself, and yes, it will improve all your relationships, including your 24/7 relationship with yourself. Compassion is also a necessary component in all interactions between CGA members.
-
Cultivating curiosity. As Brene Brown says, If you’re not uncomfortable sometimes, you’re probably not learning. Learning, by definition, requires us to extend ourselves beyond our comfort zones. Curiosity is what makes it possible for us to do that. When we can stay or return to a state of curiosity, we can grow and learn.
-
Confidentiality. CGA members, faculty and staff explicitly agree to hold confidential anything which is shared within a confidential CGA container, including any CGA class or group meeting (even at later CGA events or with other CGA members.) This means never sharing the name or identifying details of anyone, in connection with any story they may have shared, except in cases where someone believes another's speech violates a CGA policy, in which case members are encouraged to tell CGA administration about the incident. Confidentiality also means being judicious about sharing any details anyone shared, regardless of whether you reveal their identity or not. Before sharing someone else’s story, check your intention. Are you sharing to help create more learning and empathy? Or are you sharing to foster gossip? CGA values the former, and asks members to refrain from the latter.
Please be aware that despite our commitment to confidentiality, people are human and breaches do happen; therefore, CGA encourages members to consciously calibrate what they choose to share, where, and with whom. Also, please be aware that recorded classes will be viewed by other CGA members or course purchasers who were not present at the original class meeting.
The Voluntary Nature of CGA Membership
CGA loves our members! However, our lawyers want us to say this stuff:
CGA membership is wholly voluntary and subject to the choice of both the member, and the CGA administration. No one is ever obligated to become, or to remain, a member of CGA, and CGA is not required to accept or continue any person's membership.
Women who choose to become and remain members of CGA agree to do their best to honor CGA's operating principles, policies and ethos. CGA reserves the right to refuse membership to any individual, or to revoke the membership of any individual, at its sole discretion. Members agree that if their membership is ended, their only compensation will be the refund of tuition pre-paid past the date of revocation.
.
If a member finds that her needs are not being met by CGA, she is welcome to offer input and feedback via email to [email protected]. While CGA administration welcomes hearing about members' feelings and needs, final decisions about all issues and concerns will be made by CGA administration, in concert with legal and mental health professionals.
Recorded and Non-Recorded Classes and Groups
As a general rule, all didactic CGA classes and formal group coaching sessions (Deep Dive) are recorded, while Skills Lab, Coming Out, 60+ and other groups are not. Faculty always announce that a class is going to be recorded, before starting the recording. Zoom attendees can also check in the upper left hand corner of their screens to see whether a class is being recorded or not. Breakout groups are never recorded.
Classes recorded in the Academy are made available to present and future Academy members and are also, in some cases, sold as a la carte classes. Members who do not wish to be seen in the video must turn their cameras off. Names and profile pictures will not appear in the recording , so if a member's camera is off, nothing about her will show. If a member's camera is on, and her face appears on the screen, it will appear in the recording; however, names that appear onscreen during the live class will not appear in the recording.
If a member chooses to speak aloud in a live class, her voice will be included in the recording. Members who do not wish their voices to be included in the recording must use the chat box to communicate, rather than unmuting themselves to speak.
CGA members who appear on camera in a recorded CGA class, and who choose to speak aloud in the class, acknowledge that both their speech and image will be viewed later by other Academy members.
Members also acknowledge that CGA's parent entity, Conscious Girlfriend, holds additional classes which are not part of the CGA. These recorded classes may be available either free or at a per-class cost to CGA members, but will also be attended by many women who are not CGA members. These classes are also recorded and widely distributed either free or for a tuition payment to lesbians interested in the work of Conscious Girlfriend. CGA members who choose to participate in these recordings do so with full acknowledgement that their image and speech, if present in the class, will be thus distributed. CGA members who do not wish to be part of recordings may either choose to forego attending recorded classes, or may keep their cameras off and participate in the chat only, rather than by unmuting themselves.
CGA also holds many groups which are focused on practicing skills and/or connecting with others in the community. These groups are NOT recorded, and in these groups, members are required to attend with cameras on for the personal interaction component, in order to enhance rapport and establish mutual vulnerability and safety for all participants.
CGA Policy on Non-Discrimination, Hate Speech and Harassment
CGA welcomes growth-oriented, self-identified women and adjacent non-binary people over 21, including trans women, who love women or want to (e.g. identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer, or by some other label or no label) and who are willing to practice the skills around which CGA is centered: being conscious, compassionate and curious, as well as maintaining confidentiality.
CGA does not discriminate on the basis of age, race, body size, gender expression, nationality, health or mental health status, level of physical ability, cisgender vs. transgender status, gender expression, or according to any other group characteristic. While recognizing that we are all works in progress, CGA membership requires members to commit to and do their best to uphold our operating principles, and to refrain from hate speech based on any of these characteristics.
CGA is also explicitly supportive of the Black Lives Matter movement, and we are actively anti-racist.
Speech expressing a wish for violent harm to anyone is also prohibited. For instance, a statement like “I wish someone would beat up my ex and leave her disabled” is not acceptable within CGA, though a statement like “I am so angry at my ex that sometimes I have vengeful thoughts” would be appropriate.
The CGA environment is one in which joking and flirting are common. However, sexual and emotional harassment are prohibited. CGA members are strongly encouraged to clarify and communicate their boundaries if they are not comfortable with someone’s language or attitude toward them. If a member feels subjected to unwanted sexual or emotional advances, she is encouraged to either 1) Address her concerns directly with the person who is making the advances, if she feels safe enough to do so, and/or 2) Report her concerns to the CGA administration, if she does not feel safe addressing them with the person or people involved.
CGA Policy on Emotional Safety and Triggers
CGA recognizes that any and all topics related to lesbian dating, love and sexuality require "trigger warnings." We live in a homophobic, racist, misogynist, trans-phobic, body-shaming and sexually abusive culture, and many members have suffered trauma in those contexts, as well as the pain of having difficult or even toxic love relationships.
Yet, despite acknowledging these trauma histories, the mission of CGA is to continue to teach about dating, love and sexuality. Therefore, rather than trying to create an atmosphere of total safety for all members, which would be impossible, we actively encourage members to learn to recognize when they are triggered, and to be empowered to manage those triggers themselves (or seek peer support and/or professional help, where needed.) CGA teaches an abundance of tools to help members regulate their nervous systems, including the Conscious Girlfriend SCORE process, taking breaks from the classes, leaving a particular class, acknowledging their triggers in the chat, asking for specific kinds of support from other participants, breathing deeply, looking around to remind themselves where they physically are – and by seeking psychotherapy or other professional support outside CGA when necessary.
CGA Limitations in Scope
Although CGA classes cover many psychological topics, CGA is not a not a substitute for psychotherapy or mental health care. CGA Director Ruth Schwartz is certified in Somatica Method Sex & Intimacy Coaching, and has degrees, certificates and extensive training in many healing modalities, as well as a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology. However, she is not a licensed psychotherapist and does not provide psychotherapy either within or outside of CGA.
CGA Policies on Intra-Community Romantic and Sexual Relationships and Interactions
As a community of consenting adults engaged in a shared context of learning and empowerment, CGA empowers its members make their own decisions about their personal relationships. It would be in contradiction to our mission to prohibit romantic or sexual relationships between freely consenting CGA members, faculty or staff.
However, in certain CGA containers, like in-person retreats, we create a temporary moratorium on romantic or sexual contact between participants, faculty, staff and mini-workshop or "community share" leaders, for the purpose of keeping the retreat container regulated.
CGA explicitly supports members to reach out and share contact information, build friendships and share emotional support both online and in in-person retreats. Romantic relationships may sometimes develop from these connections, where there is mutual desire and consent. We ask that people nurturing a budding romantic connection modulate themselves during the duration of the retreat, for their own well-being and balance, and for the well-being and balance of others. Since our retreats are less than a week long, we ask faculty, staff and members to wait until after the retreat ends and we are back to "real life" before proceeding into a romantic or sexual connection. We also encourage all parties to consciously work with their triggers, set boundaries, and take responsibility for their choices and feelings. Again, consent may be revoked, and minds and feelings may change at any time, so we hold ourselves consciously.
We also ask that prior to engaging in a romantic relationship with someone in the CGA community, members consider whether and how they will feel able to participate in CGA if their relationship ends. We recommend that you discuss and agree whether and to what extent you will share relationship details with other members, and then either honor those agreements, or renegotiate them.
Member Input and Concerns
CGA cares about the feelings and needs of CGA members. For that reason, members are always welcome and encouraged to email CGA Director Ruth Schwartz ([email protected]) with comments, suggestions, ideas, proposals and feedback.
Refund Policy
In general, there will be no refunds for membership or a la carte courses, if a member does not attend, or chooses to stop attending groups and classes. Certain courses come with money-back guarantees that require participants to attend live classes or watch replays, take notes, and submit notes and/or completed worksheets in order to qualify for a refund. If you are signing up for a class that offers a refund, please make sure to familiarize yourself with the specific requirements involved.
In the event that CGA revokes someone's membership, she will receive a refund for the month in which the revocation occurs, and for any months she may have pre-paid. There are no refunds on on-demand courses.
