Learn Why Healthy Attachment Is The Key To Happy Lesbian Relationships --
And How To Heal Your Attachment Style To Have The Love You Want
Have You Ever Been In A Painful Relationship?
Of course you have. We all have.
This course on Attachment
will help you finally understand why --
and what to do about it.
Attachment Style Differences And Conflicts:
The Unseen Cause Of Most Lesbian Relationship Problems
Attachment challenges take different forms -- and they are incredibly painful.
That's why they're at the root of almost every lesbian breakup I've ever seen.
Many couples never untangle this dynamic. But you can.
This intensive experiential course will help you do that.
CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW TO WATCH THE OVERVIEW VIDEO
Why Attachment Styles Matter To Your Life
All people, and all relationships, need both intimacy and autonomy, closeness and separateness. But as time goes on, or when under stress, lesbian couples often get stuck in push-pull dynamics around these needs.
This is a big part of why people say "love hurts."
Can you relate to any of these ways attachment differences show up?
"My GF seems to be avoiding sex with me. She'd rather play video games or watch TV or be on social media. I miss connecting with her."
"It used to be so easy between us, but these days everything I do seems to trigger my GF, and she wants to 'process' all the time. I don't know how to be there for her in the ways she seems to need. I feel exhausted and drained."
"I'm tired of fighting to try to get my needs met. It seems like everything else in my GF's life is higher priority than I am. She acts like I'm too clingy, but it's normal to want to spend time with your partner."
"No matter how much I give and do for my GF, it seems like nothing is ever enough. I tend to be a people pleaser, but when I set a healthy boundary, my GF gets hurt and mad. I don't know what to do."
"I hate going to bed angry or upset. I always want to talk through everything, and that's healthy, isn't it? But I see this glazed look come over my GF's face and she just clams up."
"I love my GF, but it seems like no matter what I do, she doesn't believe me. These days she's jealous of everyone and everything in my life -- even my dog!"
"Something my GF said keeps reverberating in my head over and over. It seems like a little thing to her, but every time I think of it, I can't stop crying. She wants me to just get over it, but I can't."
"If only my GF would just back off a little, I could feel close to her again. But it seems like she's always pushing for more: more of my time, more affection, more everything. It's overwhelming."
Who is right in these scenarios? Both women are -- but they've gotten polarized into "pursuer" and "withdrawer" (also known as anxious vs. avoidant attachment.)
Many of us also have complex attachment styles, in which we go back and forth between needing more closeness and needing more space. This can be confusing, both to us, and to our partners.
And unless you can heal this conflict at its root, it will lead to ongoing fights, hurt, disconnection, dissatisfaction and breakups, even between women who truly love each other and are basically compatible.
This is tragic. And it doesn't have to be this way.
Whether you’re currently single or coupled, the Attachment Healing Intensive will teach you how to re-wire your brain for more resilience!
If you’re in a relationship, this will make your connection much easier – and if you’re currently single, it will help get you ready for a healthy,
connected, drama-free love relationship in the future.
Here's What The Attachment Healing Deep Dive Will Teach You.
Module 1: Understanding Attachment Styles
All people need and want connection and love, and all of us also need and want safety. But we experience safe connection in different ways, due to brain and nervous system templates ("attachment styles") that get wired into us very early in life.
Maybe you're primarily self-reliant, and go inward for comfort. In this case, you may be an "island" (also known as "avoidant" or "dismissive avoidant" attachment.)
Or, your life experience and nervous system may have led you to seek connection for comfort, and interact primarily as a "wave" ("anxious attachment.")
Or, you may be a complex or hybrid attacher, who has different needs in different moments. Many highly intelligent, sensitive people are. This style is especially if your primary childhood caregiver(s) were unpredictable or scary to you.
Regardless, this module will teach you to recognize why you've gotten stuck in painful dynamics, and how to start to get unstuck.
Module 2: Build Self-Regulation Skills for Attachment Challenges -- And Beyond
Whether you tend toward island or wave, or go back and forth between both safety strategies, the remedy is the same. Attachment power struggles will cease as you become more able to:
-- Know what you need and name and ask for it directly
-- Bring compassion to yourself in your most painful moments of feeling needy, shut down, or both
-- Calm your nervous system down (a.k.a. "self-regulate") and access the inner and/or outer resources you need in order to regain your center.
"I’ve walked around in the past feeling like I was too much for people. Now I feel at home in myself, and at home with my new partner. I have the resources and skills to move forward with her." – Sylvia, age 45
Module 3:
Make Peace With The Past
Finally feel free once you can clearly see what happened in past relationships, understand what part you played in co-creating it, and restore self-trust.
"I want to express my deep gratitude for your leadership. This course has enriched my life tremendously, and made me feel normal even though I’m single :) I’ve taken it twice now because I tended to give myself away. It has been important for me to get to know myself in this way." – Rhea, age 60
Module 4:
Know & Befriend Your Emotions
Develop the ability to know what you feel when you feel it, so you can remain connected to others and make healthy choices about your emotions, rather than being controlled by them.
"Thank you for creating this holistic approach. It has really moved, supported and encouraged me. I don’t have words for how deeply grateful I am. There has been an incredible healing in my relationship with myself." - Dori, age 46
Module 5:
Intimacy-Building Communication
Develop clean communication skills to help both you and your future partner feel seen, heard, appreciated and respected. Don't date without these skills on board!
"Before, I was always scared to express my true needs in a relationship, fearful of pushing the other person away. I see now that made my relationships unhealthy and actually kept me from wanting to date again. This class has made an enormous difference. I even feel the difference with my friends! And I feel a new confidence that I'll be able to hold onto myself when I meet the right woman." – Ellen, age 64
Module 6:
Learn to Heal Conflict at its Source
Learn powerful conflict-busting practices based on neuroscience so you can stop blowing up or shutting down. No more going to bed mad, stuffing feelings, or endless hours of draining processing - learn to work through issues and stay connected instead.
"I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this course. The other day I used all the skills with a new person I'm dating. They really worked! It's a whole new world." -- Cindy, age 59
Here are some articles that shine the light on lesbian attachment.
They'll help you see how common these struggles are,
and what the real solution is.
So, what's the solution?
Imagine feeling this way in a relationship:
"I’m happy when my girlfriend wants to connect more, and I’m happy
when we’re more independent, too. I don’t get triggered much
by our interactions. I feel solid and secure inside when I think of her."
That might feel like a fantasy if you’re in a lot of conflict right now.
Yet it's realistic when you develop more secure attachment,
regardless of whether you're someone who needs
a lot of closeness, a lot of space, or both.
Secure attachment is an inner state of ease that you can
develop either on your own or in a relationship.
Here's What The Attachment Healing Intensive
Will Help You Do
Recognize your habitual attachment-related weak points and triggers, and practice ways to get calm and centered again when these buttons get pushed.
Learn how your attachment style developed, how it has shaped your life, and how to shift it, regardless of your history.
Use powerful, proven practices that help you rewire your brain toward more secure attachment, no matter what your current attachment style is. (And yes, these tools work whether you're single or in a relationship!)
Learn and practice the magic words and phrases that will help you restore connection with a partner whose attachment wounds have come up, even if she's angry or blaming you -- and even when you're triggered, too.
Attachment wounds are the hidden cause of most painful relationship challenges --
and until now, you may have responded by trying to compromise, stuff your feelings, criticizing your partner or attempting to change her.
These approaches don't work. In fact, they make things worse.
The Attachment Healing Intensive will show you the way forward.
For many women, attachment healing work is the missing piece that will finally enable you to have the happy, healthy, drama-free relationship you want.
Here's why:
All Conscious Girlfriend work helps you learn how to communicate cleanly and learn to work with your emotions and triggers. Yet when you get deep enough into your earliest, most painful and least conscious brain patterning, those skills sometimes can’t take you far enough – and that’s when an understanding of attachment and how to work with it becomes essential.
Participants Say:
Ameli N.
Age 59
You shared an incredible amount of information and resources around attachment styles, and your style felt engaging and relaxed. You had encouragement and positivity for every woman in the class. This is great information for anyone who wants to learn and grow inside themselves and/or in intimate relationships. I highly recommend the class! - Elizabeth
Teresa C.
Age 45
The Attachment class was very helpful. I'm still in a "oh my God yet another thing that I intuitively felt was wrong but couldn't pin point/explain , eloquently solve or self-regulate so I kept creating/allowing painful circumstances and misalignments much to others' disgust" phase with your offerings. Thank you for being so damn validating. This process is a very freeing, healing, edifying, and emboldening one. - M.G.
Jennifer B.
Age 68
I want to say again how valuable and helpful I found this class. I learned a lot that helped me understand better what was happening between my avoidant ex and my anxious self - and it helped me to let go and come to acceptance and resolution inside myself. The most helpful parts were the informational lectures combined with the imagery exercises around shifting into more secure attachment. - D.F.
What You'll Get In The Attachment Healing Intensive
Three self-paced audio lessons (approximately 1 hour of listening per lesson), which give you a deep cognitive understanding of attachment, and guide you through practices that help you move toward more secure attachment. Most people find it helpful to work with these lessons again and again, because they are experiential.
Three weeks of written worksheets designed to supplement and deepen your exploration of your attachment style, and solidify your learning from the audios.
Two video recordings of the live classes, March 5 and 19, 12:00-2:00 p.m. Pacific Time, to answer your questions and help you integrate the recorded material.
Have you ever felt hopeless when this kind of difference came up between you and your partner?
Most of us do.
You say, "How am I supposed to stop feeling lonely and hurt, when you hardly seem to want to spend time with me?"
She says, "How am I supposed to want to spend time with you when you're always pressuring me?"
You think, "It feels like you don't love me any more."
She thinks, "It feels like you don't accept me and my needs."
It can feel hopeless. But it's not. The answer doesn't lie in trying to change your partner -- it lies in developing more secure attachment inside yourself. This class will help you do that.
Even if you’re single or have an uncooperative partner, you can absolutely move the needle on your attachment style on your own.
And if you’re in a relationship with a cooperative partner, you can also move the needle together toward creating “earned secure attachment.” The more you earn secure attachment with each other, the weaker and less frequent your triggers will get, and the easier it will be for you to love and feel loved through your differences. As that happens, the differences in your needs may even shrink. Everything just gets easier.
Here at Conscious Girlfriend, we support you!
Because Your Heart is Worth It.
Lesbians and queer women are courageous and powerful,
and relationships between women can be the very best
relationships on the planet.
You deserve happy, healthy love -- and you can have it.
But because two women can bond so deeply and quickly,
and no one ever taught you how to date wisely,
and Hollywood made you think that chemistry was enough,
you've probably had relationships go painfully bad.
Maybe over and over again.
You are not alone. And this can change.
Does this sound like you?
You're smart, thoughtful, and willing to work hard.
You've probably done various kinds of healing, therapy,
12-step work, meditation, or other spiritual work.
Intimate relationships are the final frontier,
and you need a roadmap so that you're not just
working hard, you're working smart.
That's what the Academy will give you.
All self-identified women who love women, or want to, are welcome, as are non-binary folx who feel at home in primarily lesbian spaces.
The Conscious Girlfriend Academy exists to support
women who value growth, and are willing to take action
to learn how to be the right partner, as well as find her.
If that sounds like you, we'll see you in class!
Get the free ebook that will save your heart and help you find real love.
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