I have read so many self-help books over the years, and some of them were useful, some not so much. This book is blowing my mind. I have been out of the closet for more than 30 years, and like most of the lesbian community we don't have a lot of healthy role models for forming lasting relationships. 

I like to think I'm a pretty self-aware person, but even in my 50's I still run into the same relationship traps because I'm not choosing wisely. Like many of us, I grew up in a toxic household with people who had no coping skills or communication skills, add on to that the trauma of coming out at a time when it wasn't so cool...there's a reason so many of us are single.

This book is changing everything for me...I'm already enjoying some much needed inner peace from reading the book and employing some of the strategies. I love the Metta and use it every day. Their advice is straightforward, easy to read and easy to implement. Whenever I run into a friend who's struggling with a relationship - I'm going to gift them this book.

I rarely write book reviews, too busy, too tired, and perhaps, a little jaded. But I think all of my lesbian sisters would benefit from reading this book. Hands down this is the best lesbian relationship advice I've ever read, and I've read almost all of it. Thank you Michelle and Ruth for this much needed guide.

W. Golden

For Lesbians Looking For Relationship Help - This is the Book!

This is the book I was desperately looking for a few years ago after getting back into dating after a relationship ended! I am grateful to the author(s) for putting this together at a time when we seek connection in our community more than ever. As someone who wants to take responsibility for myself and learn from past relationships, Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love is a very grounding, practical applications tool to help.

This is a great read - full of helpful, realistic knowledge and tips for what to do with that information. Somehow the authors have managed to break down some very intricate facts about human relationships into a format that I could understand and then begin to see how to apply. There are stories told throughout, which helps drive the points home, as examples are so useful. I love that this book is a beautiful integration of mindfulness, spirituality, and application of research on relationships and communication. Who knew that I was moving through relationships due to limerence, rather than love?

Kim K. Baker

I needed this book in my 20s! I am so glad it exists now - thank you Dr. Schwartz!

This was an excellent read! Really allowed you to go to the process of finding self compassion and love for yourself. Even though it's for lesbians, it's a book that most of us can use in dating. It taught me the importance of the RIGHT person, but also BEING THE RIGHT PERSON, which essentially showed me the importance of loving myself first. Great read! Every lesbian or anyone that plans on engaging in a long-term relationship should read this!!!

A. Fitz

Great Read!

There's nothing like it! Finally a fantastic well written, researched presentation of lesbian relationships and how to gain a greater sense of understanding and joy with our loved ones. Their research combines psychology, science, and spirituality, that reflects a full spectrum on how to develop better communication skills in our relationships, whether with intimate partners or with friends and family. The stories, examples, and inspiration shared, gives one the courage to change and really FEEL that it's possible.

This book contains practical along with sage advise for women dating women! Only wish I read this 3 relationships ago. So grateful for the honesty throughout the entire book. It is a must read if you want satisfying healthy relationships. It's given great insights to myself.

Pamela Sky Jeanne

Wow what an eye opener!

This book presented old (to me) and new information to make and build healthy lasting lesbian relationships. After the sadness of a recent break up, I felt so encouraged and empowered after starting to apply some of these truths.

J D Purple


I wasn’t prepared to read a self-help book that was actually helpful. They provide clear guidance for dating and being a relationship that has made me think about what I have been doing wrong and how I can do better.


Insightful and helpful

I think this book takes a realistic look at the challenges two women face in being in a relationship with each other. I took a workshop with the authors and they've got a clear step forward in getting the relationship you want.


Walkin the Talk

This is a totally new look at the intimate relationship between women. More importantly, it does provide a "road map" to success in that relationship. Best of all, it is written with clarity, humor, and compassion. Bravo!


Wow! I could not stop reading!

This easy-to-follow step-by-step program is improving ALL my relationships: not just romantic, by day to day relationships, and most noteworthy of all - my relationship with myself!