Now Supporting The Lesbian++ Community With Coaching!
All Certified Conscious Girlfriend Coaches have completed extensive training in lesbian/queer dating and relationships, and have been personally certified by
Academy Director Ruth Schwartz. Most also have substantial additional training. Whether you're just coming out, need dating support, want to strengthen your relationship, or going through a breakup, they can help!
Shari Gerstenberger
Shari is a holistic sex and relationship coach who can help you embrace and live your way into your unique bisexual, queer or lesbian identity. She is also a certified Somatica Method Sex & Intimacy coach and trained in the Hakomi Method. Based in Austin, TX, U.S.A., she works with clients worldwide on Zoom.
Michel Grey
Michel (they/them) is a longtime coach, a Black, queer, trans child of immigrant parents, and a powerful ally in helping every part of you be expressed and accepted. They have completed the Conscious Girlfriend coach training and are a certified Conscious Girlfriend Coach.
Lisa Madsen
Lisa's passion is working with people coming out, especially later in life or after a heterosexual marriage. She navigated the complex journey of coming out twice, once in her 20s and again after 20+ years married to a man. She has two children, and is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and certified Life Coach. Based in Denver, Colorado, U.S.A., she works worldwide via Zoom.
Nicki Monahan
Nicki is an ICF-certified coach who believes that personal transformation fuels social change. A deeply dedicated, warm-hearted champion of all segments of the LGBTQ community, she has completed the Conscious Girlfriend coach training and is a Certified Conscious Girlfriend Coach.
The Academy is the world leader in conscious lesbian dating, relationship and sex education. Whether you want to heal from a breakup, prepare for healthy love, find the right partner, or keep your current love strong, our classes, support and community will help.
We are a very special community. Most of our members say they've never found anything else like it: a place for all self-identified women* who love women to find growth-oriented, compassionate community while building dating and relationship skills. *Adjacent non-binary people are welcome, too.
If you're on a personal growth or spiritual path, you'll feel right at home in the Academy! Our members value depth, and are willing to grow. Many are Buddhists, yogis, 12-steppers, and/or have done a lot of therapy or spiritual work. Some are newer on their growth path. All are welcome!
Academy members come from all over. Geography is no barrier! We meet on Zoom, and use breakout rooms so you can meet and connect with other members 1:1 and in small groups. We have all kinds of classes and groups. Check out our calendar here.
More About Conscious Girlfriend
Based in the United States, we serve women from all over the world.
Since 2014, women from 25 countries have taken our classes!
Whether you're just coming out,
healing from a breakup,
ready to meet someone special,
eager to learn more about lesbian sex,
on a mission to strengthen your relationship,
or just seeking like-minded friends and community:
We are here for you.
And becoming what we call a "conscious girlfriend" will benefit all your relationships, including your relationship with yourself.
Academy Members Say:
Yesterday's classes were incredible. I learned so much in the Boundaries class, definitely some life-changing knowledge in there! And the spiritual connection group was nothing short of delightful; the energy was so nurturing.
— Audrey, age 38
Thank you again for creating this Academy -- you have no idea of the amount of impact this has already made in my life! In the past I felt panicky when a match reached out to me on a dating site. Now I'm gaining so much confidence!
— Lauri, age 61
As a new Academy member, I wanted to share how much I enjoyed participating in the recent groups and classes! I can’t wait to watch the recording of the class because there was so much information in it. Thanks so much for making this available to our community.
— Robbi, age 56
The Academy is helping me practice meeting women and sharing myself. I am excited and look forward more group meetings. Also, I have already contact info and have been talking with several women from the group. The “From Conflict to Connection” class was also excellent.
— Alexa S., age 60
Your class on Solo Sexual Enlivenment was very freeing, yes edgy, but you have a way of breaking the ice, and giving permission really resonates with me. I think that permission is really what I’ve needed for so long to let go (of unhealthy people and patterns), and to be my queer self.
— Gereen, age 40
GREAT session yesterday! It addressed my problems (initiating, asking someone for her contact info, etc.) right to the core. I'm learning so much and it’s a great group of women. I’m really glad to be part of the community!
— Terry, age 52
Academy Members Get Life-Changing Results
Lucy's Story
Lucy was in her 40s and had come out after a long marriage to a man. She had only had one relationship with a woman, and it ended badly. She knew some women would rule her out because she had two kids at home, and, especially because of her kids, she was really picky.
So she doubted there was really someone out there for her, but she took the Roadmap anyway... and it gave her the clarity and confidence she needed.
Within just a few months of finishing the Roadmap, Lucy met an amazing woman (on Tinder, of all places!) They have now been domestic partners for several years. Lucy's new partner adores her kids, and they post amazing pictures on Facebook of their family vacations.
This is how magic works: Lucy hates to cook, and among the many other qualities she wanted in a partner, she really hoped to find someone who would cook for her. Guess what? The woman she met is a chef!
Lucy wrote to me:
Taking the Roadmap really allowed me to focus on putting out into the universe what I wanted quite specifically. I put into my dating profile things I might not have before taking your course, and looked for specific traits I knew I needed, that I didn't know about before. I believe that was a big factor into why I even found her. She really is what I have been looking for. I was one of those women over 40 that wondered if finding the right partner was even possible at this age. Now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
Elizabeth's Story
Elizabeth was in her 50s and gun-shy. She had a history of being attracted to partners who were not emotionally safe for her.
She took the Roadmap class and also did 1:1 coaching with me, so we could rewire her attraction patterns. (Yes, this is doable!)
The Roadmap helped her realize that she actually got turned on by women who felt dangerous to her. This is not uncommon. But though danger felt sexy, it definitely didn't lead to happy relationships.
After we’d been coaching for a few months, and Elizabeth dated a few women who fit the old pattern, she met a woman at a party and noticed that something different was happening. There was chemistry and she could actually see that this woman was good for her, too.
Some bumps came up early on, and the Roadmap helped Elizabeth and her new girlfriend get through them and stay centered. Now they’re married and have been together for five years. They're local, so sometimes I run into them around town, and Elizabeth always introduces me as “the dating coach who made this possible for me.”
Of course, the truth is that she made it possible for herself. But I'm really glad that the Roadmap helped her do that.
Jeanette's Story
Jeanette was in her 60s, and had been single for a very long time. She was nervous about dating, didn't feel comfortable dating online, yet knew she didn't want to be alone forever, either. She felt stuck.
The Roadmap class helped her realize that she wasn't alone; there were actually many other women in similar situations. This helped her release her shame. Next, she worked on healing some unsettled emotions from her last relationship, since she realized they were getting in her way.
Then Jeanette created her online profile, and started meeting women. There were a number of disappointments and awkward conversations at first, but the support of the Roadmap helped her keep at it. After about a year, she met Dena, and they clicked and have been together ever since. Now Jeanette credits the Roadmap with helping her have the confidence to seek -- and find -- a new love (and also work through challenges as they come up.) "It's really never too late," Jeanette says happily.
These are just a handful of the amazing transformations that happen in the Academy for women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s, too.
There's no upper or lower age limit on healthy lesbian love.
And the Roadmap will help you prepare for that love, and find it.
Your Heart is Worth It.
I hope reading this page has helped you
feel more hopeful about your love life,
and remember that you deserve and are capable of happy, healthy lesbian love.
As a lesbian or adjacent queer person, you are courageous and powerful. But you weren't born knowing how to have a great lesbian relationship,
and your parents, schools and culture didn't teach you.
The Academy is here to fill that gap.
Painful lesbian relationships are common.
And over time, some women actually get scared of relationships because of bad experiences.
But it doesn't have to be that way!
You deserve fulfilling, happy, healthy love and sex, and you can learn how to have them.
We'll teach you how to choose the right partner, and how to be the right partner, too.
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