Lesbian Dating Essentials

Have one, two or even all three of these factors doomed your relationships? If so, no shame. I've been there, too. But we don't have to do it again! Learn the empowering alternatives in our Lesbian Dating Education series and membership program.

FREE* LESBIAN DATING Q&A

C'mon, ask me anything :)

Plus learn about our upcoming

12-week class.

Saturday, September 6 12:00-2:00 p.m. PST

REGISTER HERE: Free For Return Visitors, $1.00 Trust & Safety Fee For Newcomers

LESBIAN DATING ESSENTIALS

A 12-Week Intensive To Help You Break Painful Patterns, Learn Heart-Savvy Skills, & Get To The Love Life You Want

September 20-December 13

Enrollment Opens September 1. Get Ready :)

"There's nothing else like this for lesbians in the fricking world"

Ann says, "I've been out since I was 27, and I'm 72 now. And there's nothing like this anywhere, in the fricking world... I've done your class twice now, and I'll continue to do it, because it's deeper, deeper, deeper. My buddy group -- we have connections like I've never had, because our conversations are so open and so supportive."

Plus, Academy Director Ruth Schwartz talks about exactly why and how Academy classes and friendships can support you in getting to the love you want.

Quinn's life was changed by the Academy. Read her story below!

Can You Relate To Any Of These Challenges?

"I've been out for decades, but I've never really dated."

"I'm new to dating women, and have no idea how to get started."

"Now that I'm over 50, everything about dating is just different."

"I've tried online dating, and it didn't work for me."

"I know I should 'put myself out there,' but HOW?!"

"I wish I could just skip the dating and be in a relationship already."

"I feel too burned to consider dating, yet I don't want to just give up."

"I'm not sure I want to date, but I know I need more connection in my life with healthier people."

Good News: Help Is Here!

Here's the thing: if you haven't known how to make lesbian dating work for you, you're not alone, and it's not your fault. Whether you've been out for a long time or are new to dating women, lesbian dating is intense, vulnerable, and often confusing.

Although queer dating is a learnable skill, it's not intuitive. When you try to just "follow your heart," it's likely to lead you straight to heartbreak, for reasons you'll learn all about in Lesbian Dating Essentials.

It can be hard to even find women to date -- especially where there's not a big lesbian or queer community. Someone can seem right on paper, but you don't feel a spark. Or, when you do feel a spark, you might ignore the red flags and end up in something toxic.

You deserve better. And you can have it! It just takes learning how.

The Lesbian Dating Essentials 12-Week Intensive is here to help you change your love life destiny, for good.

Enrollment Opens September 1. Get Ready :)

"I've literally been waiting my entire life for this, and the Academy made it possible." -- Laura

Read more of Laura's story below

Why This Course Exists

I'm Dr. Ruth Schwartz, and the inspiration for this class came from my third devastating breakup in a row, back in 2003. After many nights searching for the strength to go on, I knew I had to find a different way.

At the time, I was a professor of English and Creative Writing, and my third book had just been accepted for publication. My professional life was great, but my love life was a mess. I had followed my heart again and again, yet it had led me astray. What was I missing?!

I went back to school for a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology, read every dating and relationship book, and took every workshop I could find. Although I learned a lot, my mentors were straight, and about 50% of what they taught was all wrong for me as a lesbian.

I realized that the help I needed for my lesbian dating and love life simply didn't exist. I was going to have to create it myself.

The book Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love, and the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, are the result.

Lesbian/Queer Dating & Love, Demystified!

Since our first class in 2014, Conscious Girlfriend programs have helped thousands of lesbians, queer women and adjacent non-binary people from 25 countries. We've got the keys to healing your heart, getting out of the wrong relationships, and getting into the right ones.

The Academy has many offerings throughout the year, plus two flagship 12-week courses: Lesbian Dating Essentials, offered each September, and The Roadmap To Conscious Lesbian Dating & Lasting Love, offered each January.

Our participants' stories are proof that the Academy works.

Members meet for in-person book groups in several cities.

Member Success Stories

"The Conscious Girlfriend Academy

made our relationship possible."

Pierce & Laura

Pierce says, "I had never thought I would do online dating, but the Conscious Girlfriend Academy gave me the courage. And it worked! Laura and I met through the profile I wrote in class.

"The first time we met face to face, we talked about relationship vision in depth, as the Academy had taught me. Although we had chemistry, we didn't do anything romantic that time. I had learned that, too!

"We both knew we wanted a conscious relationship. So over the next few months, we both took more Academy classes, and shared what we were learning.

"I had thought the words 'relationship' and 'ease' were oxymorons. The Academy helped me open to the idea that I could have a relationship with ease, and we do."

Fay Zenoff

Fay felt discouraged when she signed up. Her last relationship had been painful and frustrating, and at 55, she was starting to worry that it was too late for her.

But during the 12 weeks, Fay got clear both about what she wanted most, and how to show up differently in some key ways. Before the class even ended, she met someone new and put her learning into practice.

Nearly six years later, Fay and her now-wife are in the best relationship either of them has ever had.

"The Conscious Girlfriend Academy

helped me become ready to meet my Beloved, and to have the healthy, loving, conscious relationship we have today."

"The Academy is a sanctuary for healing, connection, growth and fun."

Hazel Marie Volk

“Within two months at the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, I’ve gained more insight into myself and my relationships than I did in a decade of counseling—even with wonderful therapists. Ruth’s gentle and compassionate guidance, paired with the accountability within this community, provides a safe and nurturing space for growth and self-discovery.

One of the deepest lessons I’ve learned is about attachment patterns. I had thought of these patterns as shameful flaws to overcome or hide. But here, I’ve learned that attachment patterns aren’t burdens to carry in silence but tender aspects of myself to tend to, like a child knocking at the door asking for help. For the first time... I've been able to access self-compassion and start retraining my neural pathways, recalibrating my attractions, and approaching attachment with curiosity and care.

For me, this academy is more than a learning space; it’s a sanctuary for healing, connection, and growth. And fun!” Hazel Marie Volk

Lesbian Dating Essentials

May Be Right For You If:

You'd rather stay single than be in a bad relationship, but you don't want to have to be alone forever.
You're committed to personal growth, and struggle to find like-minded women.
Your past relationships started without really "dating," and/or you've gone too fast in the past.
You wonder if your standards are too high or if you're being unrealistic, yet you really don't want to settle.
Sometimes you wonder if you can trust your "picker." Are you attracted to the wrong women? Or not attracted to the right ones?
You want intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual connection, and it feels like looking for a needle in a lesbian haystack.

Lesbian Dating Essentials

Will Cover:

Essential Preparation For Lesbian Dating

🖤  How to know if you're actually ready to date, and what to do if you're not.

🖤  Recognize your own strengths and embrace your growth edges, so you can not only find the right partner, but be the right partner.

🖤  Rewire your brain for self-compassion and resilience.

🖤  Learn to work productively with fears and mixed feelings, rather than sabotaging yourself.

🖤  Understand the anatomy of a lesbian relationship, and how to navigate limerence.

🖤  Create a clear, realistic vision of the relationship you want, then reverse-engineer it to identify your deal-breakers and must-haves.
Wise Lesbian Dating, Online Or Offline

🖤 Write a dating profile that draws your Ms. Right to you, whether or not you even post it online.

🖤 Develop a dating plan that fits your needs, geography, personality and goals.

🖤 Learn best practices for keeping your heart safe from scammers, fakes, and women who just aren't ready or available.

🖤 Prevent premature attachment, so you can actually notice and respond to red flags.

🖤 Understand how to use AI in ways that actually help, rather than harm you.
Attachment 101 For Lesbian Or Queer Dating

🖤  Discover dating as an assessment process, rather than an attachment process. This one shift can change almost everything for you!

🖤  Learn how to recognize and prevent trauma bonds, and build healthy intimacy instead.

🖤 Develop skills to stop attachment wounds from derailing your connection.

🖤  Cultivate secure attachment, both inside yourself and with others.
Chemistry & Compatibility: The U-Haul Vs. The Long Haul

🖤  Understand why intense chemistry so often misleads you, and how to shift toward attractions of inspiration, rather than deprivation.

🖤  Discover the three levels of lesbian compatibility, and why Level 3 -- which likely isn't even on your radar! -- is most important of all.

🖤  Learn which kinds of compatibility, including sexual compatibility, can stand the test of time.
How To Take Charge Of Your Relationship Destiny

🖤  Why so many lesbians and queer women feel disempowered when it comes to relationships, and how to break that cycle so you can stop leaving your love life up to luck, chance or fate.

🖤  The powerful attitudinal shift that puts you back in the driver's seat, even if you're over 50, 60 or 70, and/or just coming out, as many of our members are.

🖤  How to move confidently toward the love that is seeking you, knowing that she is out there, when you're in here!

It's time to discover how different life can be...

once you have the lesbian dating and love education you need.

"This time, I choose to love with my full intelligence."

-- Adrienne Rich

Lesbian Dating Essentials

Is A 12-Week Intensive Offered Only Once Per Year.

2025 Dates

September 20 & 27

October 4, 11, 18 & 25

November 1, 8, 15 & 22

December 6 & 13

Classes meet live on Zoom from 12:00-2:00 p.m. Pacific Time. Recordings are available within 24 hours.

Enrollment Opens September 1. Get Ready :)

Can't wait? You can join us as an annual member right now, and then you'll be in like Flynn :)

>See membership options here.

Real Academy Couple: Pierce & Laura

Real Academy Couple: Laurie & Jill

Real Academy Couple: Quinn & Laura

The Academy helps you both find her, and live your best life with her!

Q & A

How old are most class participants, and where are they from?

Participants have ranged in age from 21 to 86, with many in their 50s, 60s and 70s. While most are from the U.S. or Canada, we've had students from 25 countries.
What if I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship?

No problem! Lesbian Dating Essentials will help you clarify what you want your love life to look like, as well as make whatever shifts you're ready for.
What if I want a non-traditional relationship?

Lesbian Dating Essentials will support you in defining what you most want, and standing strong in your vision.
How much time will the class take?

You can pace your own experience, since all of the live classes are recorded and the other materials are yours to use at any time. That said, we recommend you attend live and do the weekly homework, if possible. It's the best investment in your happiness you can make.

What if I've never had a relationship with a woman?

We warmly women who are just coming out or questioning, along with long-time lesbians, trans, bisexual, pansexual, and adjacent non-binary and queer people. Here, you belong.
What if I don't want to date online?

These days the vast majority of new lesbian couples meet online, so we'd hate to see you rule out that possibility. However, the course will support you in dating online or offline.
What if online dating hasn't worked for me before?

Lesbian Dating Essentials will give you proven methods to help you navigate both the dating sites/apps, and your own heart and attractions. It's much more effective than DIY.
Will I get to know other participants?

Yes! Each class will include several breakout groups for small group conversation. We'll also match you with a buddy group, and give you a chance to join an affinity group based on your age, region, language, or other aspects of your identity.

Mark It On Your Calendar Now: Enrollment Opens September 1

Can't Wait? Get Advance Enrollment

Get a free 1:1 consult with Jen to learn if Lesbian Dating Essentials is your right next step. If so, she'll get you signed up in advance :)

Book Your Free Chat Now

Conscious Girlfriend Academy Love & Community

"I've literally been waiting my entire life for this, and the Academy made it possible."

-- Laura

Quinn & Laura

Laura joined the Academy after what she considered two "failed relationships." She was discouraged but diligent, showing up for all the classes, and working hard to understand her attachment style and gain new skills.

She also wrote an online dating profile to clarify what she was looking for, even though she never ended up dating online.

When Quinn joined the Academy and posted her own draft profile in the Academy Facebook group, the synergy between her vision and Laura's was quickly clear to both of them.

Now, Laura says, "We've had a few instances when my avoidant tendencies surfaced, but I was able to course correct quickly. I would have missed out on this joy if I hadn't learned what I learned in CGA. I've literally been waiting my entire life -- all 57 years -- for this."

"We love the same way. There's this calm between us that I've never experienced before." -- Laurie

Jill & Laurie

Jill didn't join the Academy looking for a girlfriend. She joined because she was ready to uplevel her life.

Over time, she made great friends, got to know herself better, and decided her days of over-giving were behind her. She started to actually trust herself, and trust love.

Laurie joined after a 29-year marriage plus a few rebound relationships. She knew she had to learn to choose differently. In fact, she had to learn to choose, rather than just be chosen.

Both Jill and Laurie agree that their relationship would never have worked without the changes they made in the Academy. That's why they're still members :)

You'll Get A Whole New Community, Too

"We all met in the Academy, and now we support each other's conscious dating and love journeys." -- Jen

"The Academy feeds the positive in me. It's been a major catalyst for growth." -- Kath

"I feel so much more healed, and well-equipped for the future." -- Veronika

Want What They're Having?

Enrollment Starts September 1 -- Mark Your Calendar Now!

Can't Wait? We're Here To Support You!

Get In Touch By Email Here

Join As A Member Now, And Get Automatic Entry To Lesbian Dating Essentials When It Opens

Book A Free 1:1 To Get Advance Enrollment

Want A Full Year Of Support,

Instead Of Just 12 Weeks?

Lesbian Dating Essentials is one class in an entire Academy dedicated to lesbian and queer love.

While enrollment for LDE doesn't open until September 1, you don't have to wait. And you also don't have to be limited to just 12 weeks.

Over the years, we've seen that the people who join as yearly members are the people who get the support they need -- and end up finding the love they want. It's not magic. It's brain retraining :)

It takes time to change your mindset, uplevel your skills, re-calibrate your attraction patterns so you can break bad habits, and make good friends (who will hold you accountable and have your back!) along the way. And that's what Academy membership will give you, which is why it's open for signup right now. Learn more about Academy membership here.

Set Up A 1:1 To Learn How We Can Help

Academy faculty, coaches and members at our annual retreat

Learn how to prevent heartbreak, date wisely, and love well.

Dreams do come true, but you've got to do your part.

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