Free Quiz For Lesbians & Queer Women: Are You Ready To Date?Â
I often hear women talking themselves (or others) into "just getting back out there." But is that really a good idea?
To be blunt, is your dating likely to lead to the relationship of your dreams, or is it more likely to leave you hurt, confused and disappointed all over again?
It's not just up to luck or chance. The truth is, a lot depends on whether you're ready and able to date in a healthy way!
Take this quick quiz to learn your status, and also do your friends a favor by sharing the quiz with them, too.
Conscious Girlfriend's Dating Readiness Quiz
1. When you meet a woman you find interesting, you:
A) Feel comfortable talking with her, asking her for a walk or coffee date and/or leading the conversation in ways that let you find out whether sheâs single, interested in women, and potentially compatible with you.
B) Hang around her and make small talk, hoping it might lead somewhere.
C) Get extra shy and avoid her because it feels so awkward.
D) Assume she wonât be available or won't be interested in you.
2. On a first date, you tend to:
A) Feel pretty comfortable and curious, focused on finding out who this other person is so you can learn what common ground you may have and see if you might want a second date.
B) Feel nervous and afraid of rejection, or worried about how to get her to like you.
C) Clam up and say very little so you wonât mess things up, OR talk all the time so there wonât be any awkward silences.
D) Rapidly self-disclose all the things you're afraid might make her reject you, so at least if she's going to, she'll do it right away. OR, just get drunk. OR talk a lot about your ex.
3. On a first date (or second or third date), if thereâs chemistry, you tend to:
A) Enjoy the feeling but take things slowly, knowing thereâs a lot more to compatibility than just chemistry.
B) Start thinking sheâs âthe oneâ and picturing your future together, or go heavily into flirting, sexting and fantasizing.
C) Start getting physical with her.
D) Seduce her or let her seduce you as soon as possible, preferably while drunk or high, OR run away because it's just too scary.
4. On a first (or second or third) date, if she arrives 20-30 minutes late, you will probably:
A) Take note of it and be curious about what led her to be late.
B) Do everything you can to reassure her that itâs fine, not a problem, you had a book to read anyway, and she doesnât need to feel bad.
C) Feel guarded, hurt and/or angry that youâre evidently so unimportant to her.
D) End the date immediately because no matter what she says, there's no way you can trust her now.
5. If you meet someone you really like and feel a spark with, but she tells you sheâs not ready to date, you:
A) Might feel open to getting to know her as a friend, while keeping clear internal boundaries because you heard her, and you're going to take care of your heart.
C) Continue flirting with her, because she might change her mind.
C) Ignore what she says because there's a spark, and the fact that she says she's not ready makes her even more attractive.
C) Ignore what she says because there's a spark, and the fact that she says she's not ready makes her even more attractive.
C) Take it personally and feel hurt, angry and rejected, but play it cool.
D) Take this as proof that you'll never find someone, OR say something hurtful to her so she'll know you weren't interested anyway.
6. When you think about dating, you feel:
A) Open and curious about who you might meet, what might happen, and what you might discover about yourself in the process.
B) A little excited, but also nervous about the possibility of getting rejected or having to reject someone else.
C) Sick to your stomach -- the whole idea of dating feels awkward, scary and unpleasant.
D) Totally depressed, believing it'll never work and there's no one out there for you anyway.
7. When you think about your last ex and/or previous exes or people you dated, you feel:
A) Generally at peace, clear about the lessons you learned and the things you want to do differently next time.
B) Quite a bit of lingering sadness, hurt and/or anger. You may find yourself still stalking them on Facebook, writing them emails or texts that you then donât send (or do send), or otherwise internally continuing to engage.
C) Still in love and hoping to get back together.
D) Hurt, angry and/or mistrustful, and not sure if you can open your heart again.
8. If youâve just started dating someone and sheâs doing something that bothers you â like multi-tasking while on the phone with you, not calling when she said she would, texting you too much or not enough, etc. â you are likely to:
A) Give some thought to what your feeling and then bring it up with her in a non-blaming way, probably also making a request about what you'd prefer.
D) Take this as proof that you'll never find someone, OR say something hurtful to her so she'll know you weren't interested anyway.
6. When you think about dating, you feel:
A) Open and curious about who you might meet, what might happen, and what you might discover about yourself in the process.
B) A little excited, but also nervous about the possibility of getting rejected or having to reject someone else.
C) Sick to your stomach -- the whole idea of dating feels awkward, scary and unpleasant.
D) Totally depressed, believing it'll never work and there's no one out there for you anyway.
7. When you think about your last ex and/or previous exes or people you dated, you feel:
A) Generally at peace, clear about the lessons you learned and the things you want to do differently next time.
B) Quite a bit of lingering sadness, hurt and/or anger. You may find yourself still stalking them on Facebook, writing them emails or texts that you then donât send (or do send), or otherwise internally continuing to engage.
C) Still in love and hoping to get back together.
D) Hurt, angry and/or mistrustful, and not sure if you can open your heart again.
8. If youâve just started dating someone and sheâs doing something that bothers you â like multi-tasking while on the phone with you, not calling when she said she would, texting you too much or not enough, etc. â you are likely to:
A) Give some thought to what your feeling and then bring it up with her in a non-blaming way, probably also making a request about what you'd prefer.
B) Make light of it on the outside, hoping she'll get the hint.
C) Say nothing but start inwardly pulling away from her.
D) Get really hurt or angry that she is so disrespectful.
9. If youâve dated a few times and itâs going really well, you would be likely to:
A) Find a way to have a mutual, exploratory conversation about how youâre each feeling about the relationship and where you want it to go.
B) Hope that she's feeling the same way and that she'll bring it up, because you feel too nervous to broach the topic yourself.
C) Invite her to dinner at a super-romantic restaurant and/or seduce her to cement the relationship.
D) Start pulling away, finding fault with her and/or picking fights, because itâs too painful to have high hopes and potentially get disappointed again.
10. Imagine that youâve been dating for a while and have plans to go away for the weekend -- but then your girlfriend cancels at the last minute. You would be likely to:
A) Be understanding, but also curious whether thereâs something else going on (for instance, has your girlfriend gotten scared?) Ask if you can still spend time together even without going away for the weekend, to connect.
B) Feel hurt, rejected or angry.
C) Act like nothing is wrong, but do what you need to do to make yourself feel better (for instance, you might go to a bar and pick someone up for a one-night stand, or hook up with a past lover, but not tell the woman youâve been dating.)
D) Break up with her. If this is how she's going to treat you, you're outta there.
How to Score Yourself:
For each "A" answer, give yourself 10 points.
For each "B" answer, give yourself 6 points.
For each "C" answer, give yourself 3 points.
For each "D" answer, give yourself 0 points.
Then, add up your total score!
Score of 88-100:
Congratulations - you're fairly well-prepared to date in a healthy way! But do take note of any of your "B," "C" or "D" answers to identify your growth edges and get help with them. Although you're in good shape already, the Conscious Girlfriend Academy Lesbian Dating Essentials class, starting September 20, will support you in further building your clarity and skill. *The link is in the comments.*
Score of 76-88
As you may have realized while answering the questions, your dating, emotional and communication skills need some help. Don't worry -- all of these skills are learnable, and your dating life will feel much better, easier, more comfortable and more fun once you get better-prepared. You can get this preparation in Lesbian Dating Essentials.
C) Say nothing but start inwardly pulling away from her.
D) Get really hurt or angry that she is so disrespectful.
9. If youâve dated a few times and itâs going really well, you would be likely to:
A) Find a way to have a mutual, exploratory conversation about how youâre each feeling about the relationship and where you want it to go.
B) Hope that she's feeling the same way and that she'll bring it up, because you feel too nervous to broach the topic yourself.
C) Invite her to dinner at a super-romantic restaurant and/or seduce her to cement the relationship.
D) Start pulling away, finding fault with her and/or picking fights, because itâs too painful to have high hopes and potentially get disappointed again.
10. Imagine that youâve been dating for a while and have plans to go away for the weekend -- but then your girlfriend cancels at the last minute. You would be likely to:
A) Be understanding, but also curious whether thereâs something else going on (for instance, has your girlfriend gotten scared?) Ask if you can still spend time together even without going away for the weekend, to connect.
B) Feel hurt, rejected or angry.
C) Act like nothing is wrong, but do what you need to do to make yourself feel better (for instance, you might go to a bar and pick someone up for a one-night stand, or hook up with a past lover, but not tell the woman youâve been dating.)
D) Break up with her. If this is how she's going to treat you, you're outta there.
How to Score Yourself:
For each "A" answer, give yourself 10 points.
For each "B" answer, give yourself 6 points.
For each "C" answer, give yourself 3 points.
For each "D" answer, give yourself 0 points.
Then, add up your total score!
Score of 88-100:
Congratulations - you're fairly well-prepared to date in a healthy way! But do take note of any of your "B," "C" or "D" answers to identify your growth edges and get help with them. Although you're in good shape already, the Conscious Girlfriend Academy Lesbian Dating Essentials class, starting September 20, will support you in further building your clarity and skill. *The link is in the comments.*
Score of 76-88
As you may have realized while answering the questions, your dating, emotional and communication skills need some help. Don't worry -- all of these skills are learnable, and your dating life will feel much better, easier, more comfortable and more fun once you get better-prepared. You can get this preparation in Lesbian Dating Essentials.
Score below 76:
Don't date now. Really. Just don't do it. Dating while unprepared is highly likely to lead to a world of pain. We at Conscious Girlfriend don't want to see that happen to you, so we urge you to do what's smart for your heart and seek help with healing and skill-building before "getting out there." The Lesbian Dating Essentials course is the most time-efficient way to do it, and we only offer this class once a year. This year it starts September 20.
Â
Did you enjoy this quiz? Did you learn anything valuable about yourself? If so, please let me know.Â
Wherever you are on your dating trajectory, the Conscious Girlfriend message to you is simple. You deserve the love you want - and no matter what has happened in the past, you can learn how to find and create it! Your relationship destiny truly is in your hands (even though it might not always feel that way).n, and learning from what I teach.
Wherever you are on your dating trajectory, the Conscious Girlfriend message to you is simple. You deserve the love you want - and no matter what has happened in the past, you can learn how to find and create it! Your relationship destiny truly is in your hands (even though it might not always feel that way).n, and learning from what I teach.
HAVE YOU READ THE BOOK YET?Â
NEED LOVE LIFE SUPPORT?Â
Get a free 30-minute Strategy Call with Jen, who can walk you through the Academy's programs and other resources, to help you find the right fit.Â
HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE LESBIAN LOVE LIBRARY?Â
Over 100 recorded classes on lesbian/queer sex, gender, dating, breakup recovery, bedroom communication, attachment -- a complete lesbian/queer education. Â
SKILLS, ANYONE?Â
