It's human nature: if she gives you mixed messages, runs hot and cold, expresses ambivalence or pulls away and then comes back, you're like to believe the positive messages, and disregard the others.

We talk a lot about how to recognize and respond to red flags when dating. You know, those little things you see but would rather not see, that give you cause of concern...before you tell yourself, "Damn, she looks good in red!" or "Well, nobody's perfect, who am I to judge?," and bury your head in the sand.

I often hear women talking themselves (or others) into "just getting back out there." But is that really a good idea?

Honestly, because I have always found butches the hottest people on the planet, it took me a long time to understand how much shit they go through.

If you've wondered about this, I get it. I've been there. Lesbians and queer women love and bond hard, and then our bonds often get messed up by triggers. But the love is still there.

I was teaching at a writer's conference when I spotted a woman who took my breath away. It was the fantasy kind of chemistry so many of us dream about. Her name was Kim, and she told me later she'd had that same feeling when she saw my face on the poster advertising the conference.

Why we have so much of it, and how to get to harmony, peace and ease in lesbian love

OK, let's face it: there are many attractive, charming, hot women who are not available. Maybe she's straight, or she's in a relationship, or she's just not ready. Maybe she even thinks she's ready... 

Jenny was lonely. She'd been through a bad breakup and was crying a lot, trying to keep herself from texting her ex, when a friend encouraged her to join a lesbian Facebook group... 

If you’re watching The Ultimatum: Queer Love on Netflix and feeling unsettled, you’re not alone. The show has sparked fascination, heartbreak, and a lot of lesbian drama. And also an ache...

Lesbian love bombing: a personal and community wake-up call: who does it, why it happens, and how to keep your heart safe. See, it's not just "those" women who love-bomb. It can be any of us. 

Dating over 40 as a lesbian or queer woman can be both empowering and overwhelming. Maybe you're newly out, re-entering the dating world after a breakup, or just tired of feeling invisible on apps...

There’s something uniquely thrilling about stepping outside your everyday life and setting off on an adventure with other women who get you. And for many older lesbians, that kind of connection isn’t just a bonus, it’s a lifeline.

Lesbian dating can be exciting, vulnerable, or maybe even awkward. It can be hard to get past the small talk, yet “Where did you grow up?” and “How many siblings do you have?” will never be the stuff of real connection. 

If you've ever found yourself wondering, "How do I become a lesbian?", you are not alone, and your question is more common than you might think. First, let's take a deep breath together....

Honestly, because I have always found butches the hottest people on the planet, it took me a long time to understand how much shit they go through.

When her husband Charles died, Margaret began to walk. Not just strolls through the neighborhood, but long, looping pilgrimages out beyond the edge of town—past where the trees leaned close enough to listen.

Oral sex between women can be one of the most intimate, pleasurable, and deeply connecting experiences you can share. But it can also be scary, awkward, or downright unpleasant. If you feel nervous, unsure, or even inadequate, you’re not alone. Many lesbians and queer women, regardless of age or experience, carry shame or fear about our bodies, pleasure, and performance.

As the U.S. debates birthright citizenship, it's gotten me thinking about the lesbian/queer nation. Almost none of us had lesbian/queer parents, so we've had to acquire our "citizenship," our sense of lesbian/queer community and belonging, in other ways.

At some point - maybe recently, maybe a while ago - you’ve found yourself wondering: Am I a lesbian? Maybe the question whispered  in your mind during a conversation with a friend, or maybe it hit like a bolt of lightning after an unexpected surge of attraction. Maybe you’ve even taken an “Am I a lesbian?” quiz online - maybe more than once. If so, welcome. You’re not alone.

There are sooo many kinds of support you might need when you're coming out... and so many things that can get in the way. 

Been thinking about late bloomers. Actually, I’ve been thinking about the term ‘late bloomer lesbian.' And how there’s a part of me that doesn’t like it. Sometimes the way I've heard it makes it sound like something was off with the lesbian crop (I used to farm) and it didn’t blossom when it should have.

A dear friend recently told me about a second date she had this week. The woman sitting across from her was smart, accomplished, witty, interesting and attractive. My friend was having a good time. But when she asked, "So, what brought you to the dating app?" her date flinched. It looked like she had never even thought about that question. 

Because online dating overwhelms people with choices, what you say in your profile is really important.

On the one hand, it's fascinating. Because human brains are wired for connection, we can start to feel things just by texting someone we've never met. It turns out that even when people know they're chatting with a bot, they still fall in love.

Think for a minute: do you like being criticized? Ever? And, does feeling criticized by someone ever help you feel closer to them?